That bitch stole my Berketex dress.

“I came to office promising major ethics reform to end the culture of self-dealing. And today, that ethics reform is a law. While I was at it, I got rid of a few things in the governor’s office that I didn’t believe our citizens should have to pay for. That luxury jet was over-the-top. I put it on eBay.” - Sarah Palin

eBay is addictive. And like most addictions it brings out the worst in us. The inner greedy gremlin raises its ugly head when we are rudely outbid or when that incredible dress you bought for £45 goes for a measly £0.99. 

My most recent eBay disappointment was in the loss of this beautiful flesh pink Berketex dress: 

I set my highest bid at £12.00 and then at the last minute BAMM “you did not win said item” it sold for £12.50. Whoever she is, I hope she looks dreadful in it. I had big plans man, big plans. Sob. 

So when I didn’t get my fix, I went looking elsewhere, hoping that i would stumble upon an amazing find with minutes to go. I typed generic titles into the search engine like:

• Vintage 14


• Vintage 16


• Topshop 16


• Dress 14


• Dress

Then AHA! Yes. “MOD red dress 60s/70s size 14” auction ends in 1h 42. That will do. I set my bid at £4.50 and won it at £4.20. Immediate thrill. Buzzing, you could say.

But then… looking at the photos, I realised my thirst had not been quenched, as it was no flesh pink Berketex frock. And as they say “you buy shit, you buy twice” and in my case thrice and more so. I have yet to receive these ‘second-best’ items but I have my doubts. Plus I ended up spending an unnecessary £17. 

I conclude that I have eBay guilt. A bit like alcohol or sex guilt but worse. Because at least with alcohol guilt you probably had a good time at least for a short while and the same applies for sex guilt, or so you’d hope.

You have been warned. 

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