Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Pharaohs - Photosynthesis

Screaming Maldini - Secret Sounds

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KN81xpZ5ido?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0&w=400&h=300]

Johnny Foriegner - Eyes Wide Terrified

no fashion for bands on tour:part 1


I’m back and I don’t have much to say about clothes today, but I have just got back from tour en France avec Johnny Foreigner et Pharaohs. It was far too short, I’d just got going and it was all over. I’ve decided to convert my below avergae fashion blog into a tour blog. A tlog. 

It is Wednesday night and it is around 1am and I’m going to France in 1.5 hours and I haven’t packed or sourced my passport. But it’s ok, don’t fret, I packed and I found it so that’s that done. They say open with a grabbing…uh opener right? 

We arrived at Tri Postal in Lille and met Papa Jeff who is also very sexy and though writing Papa and sexy in the same sentence is a little unsettling, it’s true. The venue is super cool and I feel super untrendy. We meet Pharaohs, well 3/4 of Pharaohs as Jonny is poorly. They tell me their names and when I hear the drummer is called “Inny” I say “oh. really?” however, turns out he’s a babe so it’s OK that he has a fake name. They made some ace food for us and there was squabbling “How come you got balsamic and I didn’t?” but aside from that it was ideal.

The gig was great, Pharaohs nailed it to say they were without their frontman and JoFo carried on with traditionally cocking up the first gig of tour and we, Maldini, were a solid 6/10. First gig done and I’ve never been so tired. Despite a vomit ridden toilet and sharing with Andy Malsnoring I managed a cracking 7 hours sleep. 

Quick sexy food breakfast, Joe eats an entire Camenbert and remains a skinny twat, van journey of approx 3 hours, arrive Paris at L’international. In short, this was the best Friday night of my days ever. Getting bored of sentences, here are some bullet points:

  • The sound woman knows her stuff, incredible stage sound.

  • Cous cous.

  • We meet Jonny and his Mum.

  • Joe suits faux fur.

  • There is a big crowd.

  • Pharaohs play.

  • We play.

  • JoFo play.

  • Guillaume’s gay brother Max is terribly handsome.

  • We all get very drunk and I flash Lex, fondle Inny, kiss gay french men and forget decking it in the dressing room. 

  • We leave gear. oops.

  • OH AND SHIT MAN LEST I FORGET! We danced on the fucking bar! In true Coyote Ugly style the bar maid sprayed us all with water, never been as happy. 

Here are some photos ….



We made use of our friendship and did a few special appearances in JoFo’s set. This is Tim rocking out to one of JoFo’s new power ballads. One of my faves.

Andy was a trooper and drove the van with lots of drunk people in it to our hotel where we slurred broken french at the receptionist and then slept. We left at “10am” (11am) and prepared for the potentially shit 6 hour drive ahead. There was a badly designed petrol station that played music but as far as I’m aware there was no other point of interest on this stretch of the journey. 

We arrive at L’Orient and it’s all a bit grey and it smells badly of fish and all I can think about is food which was soon resolved with a bloody good spread of cheese, pea soup, bread, leaves and meat with some splendid wine. Moods improve instantly. 


Again, the sound was VERY GOOD. But our green room was ALSO GOOD as it had two pianos and luckily Cornish is a stunning pianist so he provided the talent, Jeff clambered onto the grand piano as a slinkily dressed woman would, it tickled me. 

Jesus, I’m slowly forgetting everything that happened. I’ll finish this part with the pre-hostel visit as that part is particularly funny. I felt as though this backstage time was a lovely time for good old conversation. Mr Joe Pharaohs has a seriously high quality of banter. We discussed J cloths, wind and timed laughter. I know right? Inny made a sturdy leg rest and I poured my heart out to Guillaume in stunted Franglais. We had two backstage visitors who decided we weren’t rock n roll enough and I took an instant dislike to both of them and wished they’d leave. I think one of them groped Kelly, those lesbians eh? Then again, Kel is nuff sexy so I totally get it. Unfortunately I can’t write down all the fun piano singalong stuff, I’ll leave that for Bloggy Foreigner, because I was loading the fuck out of the venue. I heard it was fun though. NOT BITTER AT ALL PROMISE.

I’ll continue this tomorrow, probs.


Tuesday, 22 November 2011


Hurrah! Christmas is upon us (nearly) and I want sequins and I want metallic leather and I want glitter shoes and I want want want. It’s unlikely I will be able to afford any but I want to share my favourite party goods with you…



River Island



And who, but M&S have cottoned on to Prada’s giant sequin gem of an idea (see below)?!



        OH MIU MIU!!!!!

This French Connection dress is ICONIC now. Grab it in gold too.

Wear this River Island gold leather skirt with basic jersey pieces and knitwear to keep the focus all on the glitz. Plus it’s a different take on the usual party glam wear. I love this. 

If you’re strapped for cash as I am (as you know) then look in Vintage shops, charity shops and eBay for sequinned and beaded tunic dress not unlike this one that is currently on ebay - ooh correction-sold on eBay for £20. Seems alot but these dresses are usually a great fit on all body shapes. Even me with my big boobs…unless you read my earlier post about quite literally bursting out of one of these dresses…!


Get sparkly and get creative with how to you style your sequins. Think knitwear, opaques, black leather and grey and white jersey basics. And heels. You can sit down after you’ve made your grand entrance. Honest. 


Friday, 18 November 2011

Dress: river island
Bag: river island
Heels: new look

Faux fur: Vintage £5
Brooch: vintage £5
Earrings: Topshop


I’m veering off the path of “I’m skint so I buy these second hand things and this is how I wear them” but I can’t help myself. I have so many other things to write drivel about.

Including the absolutely gorgeous Edie Sedgwick, who tragically died in 1971. For those who are unfamiliar with Edie, she was a socialite, model and most famously, Andy Warhol’s muse. And there is no questioning why with her elfin features and slight figure. 


Edie from a shoot in Life (Photo Fed Eberstadt)

Here are some of my favourite photos of Edie inclusing her trademark breton stripes, pixie crop, dangly earrings and underwear as outerwear combos…




I love to imagine her walking around East London, just fitting right in in 2012. If you haven’t seen Factory Girl with Sienna Miller, then do.


Monday, 14 November 2011

i wish: pearl lowe for peacocks

It’s been a week since I posted anything, my apologies. I’m feeling super skint right now so I decided to have a little daydream about the things I’ve seen and want want want…and they all happen to be gorgeous dresses by Pearl Lowe for Peacocks.


This stunning gold, embroidered evening maxi dress is my favourite piece in her most recent collection. With a nod to the 40s in it’s sleek silhouette and satin fishtail skirt, it is an incredibly elegant dress. Definitely one for magic knickers though, even for the slimmer ladies out there. No glitzy accessories or fancy hair, the dress really does do all the talking. And at £80, I reckon that’s fairly well priced.


For a new vintage-gothic take on the LBD, look no further than this midi A-line, velvet and lace dress. Lots of adjectives there. I reckon there is a hint of Kate Middleton’s wedding dress in here too. It is a backless dress, so there is a decision to make on underwear or sneaking in a strappy top underneath if you’re not so confident or like me, rather busty! 


Hello boob friendly dress. Being another midi A-line skirt, this dress plays it rather safe but gives you the option of amping up your accessories, hair and make-up. I think I’d go with either a classic nude or black heel OR something completely contrasting like a leopard print block heel. 

Peacocks have their own range of evening dresses too which are well worth a look if you’re on a budget. I will certainly be purchasing at least one…Pretty New Things?!


Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Sunday, 6 November 2011

I've bought a lovely book


This book is absolutely charming. Angel Adoree of http://vintagepatisserie.co.uk/ in London has gathered all of her very best recipes and tea party tips to create your very own Vintage Tea Party. As far as I can see, nothing has been overlooked. Angel has even drawn out splendid invitations for you to copy, suggested decorations and venues and the last chapter is dedicated to style!

This final chapter includes step by step guide to achieving the perfect set of Victory Rolls, how to apply false eye-lashes as well as a section on vintage make-up. Angel has even already told us how to style our hair in a scarf for hygiene/style purposes when we are cooking and baking for our tea party!

The book itself is beautiful, with stunning photography and illustration throughout and is one of those books you want to display on your coffee table for everyone to flick through while they wait for their Blood Orange Lemonade, Candy Striped Meringues while polishing off a Leek and Goats’ Cheese Rarebit with Chive Grass.

Well worth the £20 price tag - a gorgeous Christmas gift for any Vintage enthusiast.


Something old: vintage wedding fair

Yesterday saw the launch of a The Vintage Fair special in the form of Something Old, a fair aimed at making your special day unique with a bundle of super retro fun. 


I was lucky (debatable) to be promoting for this fair yesterday in the bloody freezing cold.  All I can say is thank goodness for the lack of precipitation. So I got up at 7:30am and didn’t wash my hair AND BEFORE YOU PROTEST, dirty hair stays put better than freshly washed hair, ask any ballerina. Then I continued to create my 40s/50s look for the day. Oh I do love to dress up. 

Here are some funny things (mainly men) said to me on the day:

Will you marry me? (man continues to get down on one knee) We could pop into the Town Hall to the registry office? I’ll take my cap off?

Young boys: Can we join your protest?

You remind me of a brunette Ruth Ellis. You know Ruth Ellis? Last woman to be hanged in England. Shot her husband with a revolver.

Youth 1: Whats this then?

Me: It’s a Vintage Wedding fair, are you getting married?

Youth 1: Yeah tomorrow, do you wanna come?

Youth 2: Ah yeah me too. 

Me: Oh both of you? Are you getting married to each other?

Youths: NO!!!!!

Me: Oh I see, one in the morning one in the afternoon?

Youths: Yeah save some money. So are you gonna come?

Me: Uh. No.

Youth 1: Give me call maybe we can go for a drink (Youth walks away).

But what you’d really like to see is the goods on offer. Take a look at my poor quality iPhone photos…

Keep an eye out for the next Vintage Fair at The Town Hall on December 3rd it will be Christmas-TASTIC. 



Saturday, 5 November 2011