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Oh how I was depressed the day tour ended. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep…for at least 1 hour. So where did we leave things? Ah I do believe we had just rocked L’Orient.Â
Onwards. In many’a car we drove to the hostel where we thought we might be butchered in our sleep as it looked like a horror film set. There were suggestions of hide and seek but when it came to the fact that I had to make Lex stand outside the toilet while I went for a wee, I opted out. It was THAT scary. However, we did make mischief, inspired by the likes of Joe Pharaohs. We ruined stuff then went on the roof. I don’t think Jeff was very impressed.Â
BEDTIME. “Hey Junior, Lex…it’s 5:15am” they reply “It’s cool we’re up at 12.” WRONG “GARBLED LOUD FRENCH TRANSLATING TO GET UP AND GET OUT AND NEVER RETURN” at 9am.Â
oopsie.Â
So we head to the market after a little chill around a lake where the entire population of L’Orient go jogging. I bought a really unsatisfying crepe, some apples and some clementines. Inigio Pharoahs and I share a love of courgettes. Joe Pharaohs likes Kelly Brook. Food envy made an appearance when I see most of Maldini eating incredible pork sandwiches, then , as soon as I want one they run out of bread. IN FRANCE. RUN OUT OF BREAD? I know, right? After this we left, this journey was probably like most of the other ones.Â
One of the first things that happened in Brest was tres drole. Tim Maldini collided with Jon Maldini and they rolled, oh how they rolled gleefully among the grass and the dog poo. Oh yes, that is (maybe) true. The venue was awesome like an old Cabaret hall with a lovely big stage, lights and a muscly sound engineer. The next interesting thing to happen was seeing Papa Jeff  sing with his band Heliport - that man has some moves. I’m getting me a stage kick. Je t’aime, Jeff!
 PHOTOS
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Photos: Ray LeMannÂ
Oh and this happened too:
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Drunk hairdresser Pharaoh meets willing Maldini. Thankfully, all things worked out for the best. “I’ve never cut hair so well being this drunk.” Brilliant.Â
The venue gave us lots of cheese and bread again, naturally we took as much of the other stuff in the van as we could and after packing up, we all piled into the van, minus Pharaohs. After an emotional farewell we hit the road, for 18 long hours.Â
All I can say is that it was such a pleasure to tour with Johnny Foreigner again, they are fast becoming three of my favourite people and I cannae wait to see them again. I can also say that Pharaohs are four top lads, it’s always a worry to go on tour and fear you won’t be with people who are on the same wavelength, thankfully we all melded into one massive ball of musical fluff. Last but not least, monsieur Jeff of HipHipHip! an enormous MERCI for you. It could not have happened without you!
I want tour again. But as you can see, we all look bloody awful. So maybe we’ll leave it for a bit. BYE BYE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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